Of ALL the places in the World Why Sweden?!

The answer is very simple: a girl.

When I decided to go Sweden, I hadn’t left my house in months due to the pandemic, and was kind of going stir-crazy. I’d been spending HOURS on Clubhouse getting to know people from all over the world, and somehow I found myself in a community full of a lot of people from Sweden. Some of you might not know this, but I LOVE language. Getting to understand the rules of grammar, the origins, and especially learning phrases that I can’t learn in an academic course.

So fast forward - after spending months on this app, I got to know a Swedish, influencer woman that was quite popular on TikTok and Instagram pretty well. Nothing romantic, initially, just chatting here and there. It was kind of nuts in retrospect. I used to have so much time, that I could stay up until 3/4AM hosting this comedy dating “show” where people would drop in, and practice their pitch for getting a sugar daddy/ mommy*; she would come in for a laugh every now and then. After a very weird summer, Europe FINALLY lifts their travel ban and I am invited to come to Sweden.

I went to Sweden wanting two things: 1. Surströmming and 2. Have a proper fika.

So unlike most people that go to Sweden for the first time, I went to Malmö, and I’m SO happy that I did. Neither the Swedish woman nor I had ever been to Malmö, so this was going to be something new for everyone.

Getting to Sweden

I was in a “Yes” mood to everything leading to this trip. So when my buddy dropped me off to the airport he’d asked me, “Do you want an edible for the flight?” (pause - this was at a time where cannabis and I did NOT agree with each other. ESPECIALLY edibles*) I said “Sure, but probably just a half. I ain’t trying to die on this plane. hahaha” Well little did I know…I’d sealed my fate with that response. I made it through TSA (no problem), I got to the gate (piece of cake), and I even got to my chair on the plane with no troubles, but I did the worst thing for myself and went to sleep immediately upon arrival.

If you’ve never woken up high before; it’s a rude awakening.

I felt personally attacked by that edible, and to make it worse - I wasn’t digesting anything until I touched the ground (if ya know what I mean), so that edible was just hitting.

Eight hours. That’s how long the first flight to Amsterdam was. Eight hours of trying to chug ginger ales, trying to use the toilet, and just trying not to die. It was great. I could barely even enjoy my favorite part of flying which is watching all the movies I can’t find on my smorgasbord of streaming services. So after a movie and a half of flying - my body just had to get rid of it the only way it could. There are a handful of people that when they know they’re going to vomit, they try and make the world a better place for everyone involved - I’m one of those people. I went to the airplane bathroom (which makes me want to vomit now just thinking about it), secured the toilet bib down, and braced myself for impact which lead to swift relief.

After that it was smooth sailing though…

Amsterdam was no problem, now that the edible was dealt with. Schipol is kind of a shithole airport, but otherwise it was cool. Even though it was the Netherlands, I felt like everywhere I went it was just the American corner. Even on my flight to Copenhagen (because that’s the closest airport to Malmö. Sweden), I had an American man seated next to me. I didn’t talk to him, but I learned some tips & tricks in order to uncover who the Americans in Europe are.

I might have done something illegal though…

When I arrived in Copenhagen (now mind you, I’d JUST started learning Swedish about 2 months prior and Danish is WAY harder), I was a bit lost. I was told by a customer service representative, “Look for the train to Malmö”, so that’s what I did. When I got to the train station there were kiosks to purchase tickets and when I TRIED to buy a ticket, it didn’t take so what was I supposed to do? I hopped on the train anyway, even took a seat in first class (which has VERY comfy seats AND Wi-Fi), and nobody even asked me for a ticket or anything so I just assumed it was free - well I thought it was at least. It wasn’t. The ECONOMY train tickets are 240kr (≈$24 USD). Whoops! 😅

But lo and behold, I arrived in Malmö: the 18th most dangerous city in Europe, to meet a stranger from the internet, after just coming down from an edible…

Anyway - that’s all for the first part of the this story time. Check back in next week for another story time with Bradley! ✌🏿

* = there is a story to this