O Death

Death itself is a beautiful thing.

Death has always scared me though because it’s so uncertain. Even when people die and come back, they don’t have a concrete description of what it’s like on the other side - or no side for some.

I’m personally terrified of the uncertain. Which trickles down into other aspects of myself:

• Religion

• Relationships

• Occupation

• Fun

I’ve lived such a cautious & “safe” life, that I’ve missed out so many opportunities I’ve had to really live.

Death itself is a beautiful thing.

The concept of death is so fascinating to me because so many things can die, and in some pretty out-of-this-world ways.

1. Death of the body

2. Death of the mind

3. Death of the soul

4. Death of the ego

No matter what your beliefs, death is never something to be feared, but embraced.

Death is the control. Living is the controlled.

Recently, I found out that a previous coworker of mine tragically passed away, and I wasn’t as phased or affected as I thought I would be. It wasn’t that I didn’t like her; she was an incredibly funny, energetic, and overall enjoyable person to be around during our time together. What I’m grappling with is the feeling that in her untimely death, she has left behind a significant legacy. Yet, it still makes me ask some deep and introspective questions:

“What was it like?”, “What’s she thinking now?” ,“Is she still a she, or an it?”, etc. etc.

I appreciate death like the dark, it’s terrifying but so exciting.

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“Dying is easy. Living is hard.”

— Gayle Forman, If I Stay

Real TV

Happy 2019, Y'all!! 🎉

It’s officially a new year! 2018 was a wild ride, but it’s officially over. (Won’t God do it?!)

I didn’t feel like I accomplished much last year until I actually verbalized everything that I was looking past:

1. I got a corporate job.

2. I quit a corporate job.

3. I got a job working at this bar that I’ve been wanting for the last 4 years.

4. I decided to take strides towards working on myself.

5. I realized the value of gym membership.

6. I realized the value of a good relationship.

7. I realized the weight of a bad relationship.

8. I stopped eating red meat.

9. I put more work and effort into creating art.

10. I started a blog, yo!

But honestly, this year I realized something about myself that I never accepted earlier in my life; I’m terrified of getting killed by a white person. After going through this year and seeing so many people (real & fictional) being insulted, harassed, or murdered by the hands of bigots and police, I’m shook. I’m not surprised though because it wasn’t until this year that television and movie felt actually “real” to me.

When I was growing up shows like Friends were so popular, and it kind of felt like somewhat of a relatable reality; which it was in the 90’s (ish). But can y’all imagine what Friends would be like if it had all Black people in it??

I really think a character like Ross would be great for the black community. A paleontologist that’s a brother, whose main flaw is that he’s over sensitive and falls in love quickly? Psh - what?! On the other hand shows like this would then have to follow the troupe of if she’s success in the corporate or professional world, then she has to angry or mean - I’m looking at you Gabrielle Union.

But who would it be?

Black Rachel: single, divorced mother whom worked for Ralph Lauren, or Black Monica: married, executive chef, and mother?

Black Phoebe would probably resemble Nola Darling as the slightly ditzy artistic figure but she would be hella Afrocentric.

Black Chandler would be everyone’s least favorite character because he’d basically be Chris Tucker from Friday, and everybody knows how happy they were when they found out he wasn’t returning in Next Friday.

Black Joey though…for real, think about this. Black Joey would be the philander with zero kids, baby mamas, and no child support payments. (that kind of greatness just isn’t allowed in television)

Also, can we talk for a second about how normal crimes in white television feels sometimes? When I watch Shameless, I never feel like the police are an issue, but watching The Chi it feels like I’m always watching everybody’s back! Both shows, characters have run-ins with the law but usually watching Shameless everything ends pretty optimistically.

Imagine if Dexter Morgan in Dexter was a black man!

Let that marinate for a second!

Also, if any of y’all are wondering, the thumbnail is from the video Moonlight by Jay-Z. If you haven’t seen it yet, then I definitely recommend you changing that ASAP!